Jan. 12th, 2006

juthwara: (Default)
Since I seem to be in a confessional mood at the moment (you all now know about my predilection for watching Canadian teenagers say "aboot" and "pro-ject" and spell with superfluous u's while getting drunk, having unsafe sex and doing all the other stupid things teenagers do the world round. We have no secrets), I have something else to reveal: I have a fidelity problem.

You know how it is. You get involved in a relationship and it's all shiny and wonderful. You live and breathe for it. But times wears on and familiarity breeds contempt; the things that were so great before now enrage you, and the new becomes boring and tedious. And then your eye starts to wander.

And so it's happened again. I'm 80% of the way through my current knitting project and I'm getting the urge to start something new. I'm just so sick of it - the pattern calls for knitting a central piece (huge), and then picking up stitches all of the way around (all 850 or so of them) and knitting the border. I've been repeating the same 20 stitch, 8 row pattern for a good 1200 rows now, and while it's not complicated, it's become the very definition of tedious. I've been working on this damn blanket for over a year, and the time I've spent on it is beginning to feel like it should be marked in geologic time. I'm so over it. The magic is gone. It's not you, it's me. I love you, but I'm not in love with you. I just don't think this is working out.

But I'm determined to soldier on, because I've put so much work in that I can't leave it unfinished. I'm not the sort of person who just abandons my commitments. This is supposed to be K's baby blanket, and while I fully realize that she's 6 1/2 months old, I still cherish thoughts of her using it. Or maybe the next baby, at the rate I'm going.

And yet, I found myself leaving the library the other day with a book on knitting rugs, the knitting equivalent of having lipstick on my collar. And I'm starting to wander past the yarn aisle of Hobby Lobby, letting myself lust a bit. And I absolutely fell in love with this baby sweater. The author of the blog hasn't said what pattern she used yet, but my treacherous mind whispers to me that it's just a combination of seed stitch and cabling - I could easily find a basic baby cardigan pattern and figure it out. I find myself thinking about knitting Christmas presents for my parents next year, something that's been at the back of my mind for two years now. And [livejournal.com profile] longstrider's cousin is getting married in April. Since one of our favorite wedding presents was a nice large afghan, I like to give them as wedding presents. The idea of finishing one before the beginning of April is laughable. Heck, the idea of starting one before the beginning of April is practically a Simpsons marathon.

Temptation is absolutely everywhere. It would help if I had more time to knit - the reason this blanket has taken so long is I started making stuff for Ebay, which pretty much supplanted all of the time I would have spent knitting in the evenings. And, of course, there's the fact that I'm only really happy if I'm working on something big and insanely complicated. Scarfs, hats, even sweaters do nothing for me. My heart is set on fire by gigantic afghans with insanely complicated lace patterns or motifs of wolves howling at the moon, or Machiavellian celtic knot patterns designed by insane monks fed a steady diet of hallucinatory mushrooms. So instead of setting out to make a nice small baby blanket, I'm making a baby blanket that looks like it will likely be six feet wide that she'll be able to use as a bedspread when she goes off to college. Or more likely given the current rate of production, when my first grandchild goes off to college.

Being a practical problem-solving type of person, I'm trying to approach this rationally. I'm carving out more time specifically to knit, for starters. I've already been making sure to bring knitting to our weekly anime nights, and have decided that I won't bring any costuming work, no matter how many orders I have. I've been trying to remind myself to pick up my knitting when I have free time, instead of noodling around on the web (or at the very least, knit _while_ I'm noodling around on the web). And we're actually starting to take concrete steps towards getting some day care, so that will hopefully free up my evenings quite a bit.

Back in the Cretaceous period when I started this blanket, I had hoped to have it done by the time K was born. Now, I'm mostly hoping to beat my first great-grandchild. But it _will_ get done, no matter how many tempting new projects cross my path.


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